Coaching managers on responding to workplace disputes can reposition HR from the default fixer and empower people leaders to play their part in facilitating healthier, safer relationships at work.

Humans are generally wired to avoid discomfort, and even the hardiest of managers can feel apprehensive about confronting workplace conflict. Add a backdrop of political polarisation, change fatigue among workforces and heavier job demands, and workplace conflict is becoming an even more complex challenge for businesses to contend with.

With the flow-on effects of disputes – lowered employee morale, absenteeism, investigations, and retrospective dismissal claims – making it a costly risk for organisations, it’s crucial for HR to develop the necessary skills in conflict resolution. 

However, too often HR is seen as the first line of defence against workplace disputes.

This perception does employees, managers and leaders a disservice, as it forfeits opportunities for employees and managers to grow and sets an unhelpful precedent for all problems to land at HR’s door. By this point, the original conflict has likely become more protracted.

Instead, HR’s role is about empowering managers to handle conflicts effectively. 

Below I share a few strategies to de-escalate, prevent and manage workplace conflict, which I walk participants through in the short course I facilitate with AHRI. 

Through targeted training and coaching, HR can support managers in de-escalating tensions before they disrupt workplace morale and productivity.

Develop your skills in conflict resolution and mediation with AHRI’s Workplace Conflict Resolution short course.

Spotting the warning signs

In my experience working with organisations, the top causes of workplace conflict are often interpersonal. Managers are well-placed to notice behaviour shifts in their teams. All managers and leaders should be trained in role-modelling openness and respect to help employees feel they can speak up about issues, either through informal one-on-ones or confidential reporting channels.

HR can share examples of common warning signals with managers, including:

• Reduced collaboration between colleagues
• Recurring disagreement between colleagues
• An uptick in passive-aggressive behaviour
• Communication breakdowns
• The formation of employee cliques.

These behaviour changes are often symptoms of broader, systemic issues. This is where HR can support managers to dig deeper and foster open dialogue.

Uncovering root causes

The next step is to engage with the aggrieved employees separately to gain a better understanding of the situation. HR’s goal is equipping managers to handle this process in a fair and principled manner, ensuring a foundation of psychological safety and respect for those involved.

Arm managers with these techniques to build their confidence in leading what can be emotionally charged conversations:

1. Maintain empathetic neutrality

This is about making employees feel their perspectives are valued while maintaining a non-judgemental tone. Managers can struggle with this, but it is possible to demonstrate empathy without aligning with someone’s specific view.

For example, an empathetic but neutral response might be, “It sounds like you’re having a really hard time. Let’s talk about that,” as opposed to “What you’re experiencing is wrong.” Acknowledging their experiences allows managers and HR practitioners to challenge ideas where required at a later stage.

2. Exploratory questions

Use open-ended questions to uncover tangible grievances that can be addressed. My trusted phrases include:

• I hear that you’re frustrated and angry with your colleague. Can you explore that a little bit? When do you feel that happening?
• When that happened, what do you think their intention was?
• Thanks for sharing that. It sounds like you’re concerned about how this will affect your current workload. Can you tell me more about that?

3. Active listening

While most managers are aware of nodding to convey understanding, remind them of the other aspects of active listening, such as paraphrasing to clarify. Checking back in with “Am I hearing you correctly when you say you felt like your concerns were being minimised?” helps to seek clarification.

4. Hold space for discomfort

Don’t be afraid of silence – and don’t feel the need to fill it. Sitting in silence and letting employees disclose their thoughts at their own pace is one of the most effective ways to make people feel heard and encourage the sharing of additional information.

Adopting a solutions focus

Once all sides of the story are ascertained, support managers in shifting the focus towards constructive solutions. The goal is to build resilience, not reliance, in the workforce to resolve issues directly. 

Done effectively, this can avoid people heading down a formal, drawn-out and often costly mediation process.

Here are some key strategies to share with managers to co-design solutions with those affected:

• Move beyond emotions using future statements: I ask employees questions such as “Take me back to the time when you did get along with this colleague. How do you know things were working?” or “Imagine that a miracle has occurred overnight and everything is playing out with the best possible outcome. Walk me through that day.”
• Reality test solutions: This sets the expectation that solutions should be practical and reasonable, and it empowers employees to develop a conflict management framework for future issues. For instance, in many conflicts I’ve mediated, employees suggest going to HR first during disagreements. In these cases, I reframe the discussion and ask, “What other options might be available?”
• Establish an escalation process: Managers should be transparent about pathways for escalation, including timelines, to show that their issues are being taken seriously.
• Assess any reasonable adjustments: Determine whether any adjustments are required, such as flexible hours, to maintain a psychosocially safe environment for employees and the broader team.
• Highlight external support: Encourage affected individuals to seek external support where necessary, such as connecting with their Employee Assistance Program service.

There will be situations when a dispute has become too precarious to resolve at the team level, particularly for serious claims such as harassment. This is when a more formal mediation process, as outlined in the organisation’s grievance policy, may be necessary.

Above all, guiding managers and leaders to proactively manage conflict can foster more enriching and transparent working relationships, creating a healthier culture that supports all employees. 

This shift benefits not only individuals, but the organisation as a whole – minimising costly disputes, boosting morale and fostering a workplace built on trust and respect.

Gain the knowledge and practical skills to assess workplace complaints, gather corroborative information, and make critical decisions based on investigation outcomes with AHRI’s Investigating Workplace Misconduct short course.