Is impostor syndrome holding you back at work? Leadership coach and author Kemi Nekvapil shares how HR leaders can navigate self-doubt to lead with their personal values front of mind.

Moments of self-doubt are common at work, especially for those who are stepping into more senior roles or for leaders navigating spaces where they don’t fit the traditional mould.

But what if we reframed impostor syndrome from a weakness to correct to an opportunity for growth?

In the latest episode of AHRI’s podcast Let’s Take This Offline, host Tani Jacobi CPHR speaks with Kemi Nekvapil, a globally recognised leadership coach, author and keynote speaker, who has worked with leaders to find their voice and lead with conviction.

Nekvapil offers practical tools to help leaders overcome their inner critic, cultivate lasting influence, and, ultimately, lead with more confidence, authenticity and impact.

Hear more from Kemi Nekvapil at AHRI’s National Convention and Exhibition on 19-21 August in Sydney.

Below is an excerpt from the conversation. Scroll to the end to listen to the full podcast episode.

Is people-pleasing holding you back?

Tani Jacobi CPHR: How do common concepts, such as people pleasing, play into the way HR leaders may experience impostor syndrome?

Kemi Nekvapil: I have worked with so many leaders who identify as people pleasers, and what they’re not getting in their leadership is the respect that they want.

They know that everyone likes them, but they do not feel that people are showing up to them in a way that’s collaborative. They’ve realised that their people pleasing has worked for them in a particular chapter of their journey. But if they want to expand, it’s going to be a detriment to their leadership and the impact they want to make.

As leaders, we need to be conscious of the patterns we default to when stepping into growth or expansion. Ask yourself: What narratives do I reach for when I find myself as the only one like me in the room? Once we can take ownership of who we are, then we are going to be able to lead sustainably. This is especially important in a world where tech is moving faster than any human brain could. 

Leading with your values first

Tani Jacobi CPHR: Many aspiring and emerging HR leaders may be trying to find their leadership voice, but the most dominant or visible leadership models they’re aware of might not actually reflect who they are. Can you talk to us about your take on influence and how it’s defined?

Kemi Nekvapil:

I think our influence comes from who we are, and, for leaders, that’s about being able to understand your core values. 

I trained with Dr Brene Brown, and I facilitated that work for five years – I’ve just come to the end of facilitating that work – and what’s so interesting in facilitating that values work is that when a leader is really clear on what their core values are, it completely changes anything that’s surface level. 

I’ve worked with many female leaders that work in predominantly male spaces and with men of colour that work in mainly white spaces. And what is so interesting in those rooms is the conversation largely revolves around: ‘I need to be listened to; I want to have an impact.’ 

But as soon as we look at their core values, we ask, ‘is that actually a value, or is that a rule that I’m putting on myself?’ 

A leader might come back to me and say, ‘Okay, I’ve cemented my core values, and they are integrity, joy and connection’. Then how that leader shows up in that room is going to be about who they are being in that room. It’s not about how they’ve influenced people; it’s about how they’ve connected with people by being a true expression of what matters to them.

Leveraging curiosity

Tani Jacobi CPHR:  How do you see curiosity coming into all this? 

Kemi Nekvapil: Curiosity is powerful. Being a know-it-all can feel isolating. I come from a generation where, at dinner parties, someone would ask, ‘What was that album with that song?’ and we’d spend an hour trying to figure it out together – guessing, singing along. Now someone asks and it’s solved in 30 seconds with Google. Efficient, yes. But did we learn anything about each other’s music tastes? Did we discover we’d been at the same concert years ago without realising it? Probably not. Curiosity opens the world.

As a coach, I’m obsessed with the question more than the answer.

With clients, when something unexpected happens – maybe they missed an email or delivered a presentation differently than planned – I don’t jump to correction. I say, ‘I’m curious – what was your thinking here?’ That one question removes blame. It creates psychological safety. 

Curiosity does that. It makes us better leaders. Kinder leaders. And honestly, who doesn’t want more of that?

This conversation has been lightly edited for clarity.

Listen to the full episode here